Esther Perel

Therapist, speaker, consultant

EstherPerel.com
Instagram: @estherperelofficial
Twitter: @EstherPerel

Why you should listen

New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today's most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. As a psychotherapist, she has helmed a therapy practice in New York City for more than 35 years, and she serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Fluent in nine languages, Perel's celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 30 million views and her bestselling books have been translated into nearly 30 languages. She is an executive producer and host of the award-winning podcast Where Should We Begin? Her newest podcast, How's Work?, focuses on workplace dynamics.

What others say

Perel’s ideas are … instantly familiar because they resonate deeply. It’s all rather terrifying in its intuitiveness and its pure rightness.
The Observer (UK)

Esther Perel’s TED Talks

Esther Perel
The secret to desire in a long-term relationship
18 minutes 53 seconds
In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence.
Posted Feb 2013
Esther Perel
Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved
21 minutes 21 seconds
Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.
Posted May 2015
Esther Perel, Helen Walters
The routines, rituals and boundaries we need in stressful times
15 minutes 25 seconds
How do you effectively regulate stress? Therapist Esther Perel discusses the importance of creating routines, rituals and boundaries to deal with pandemic-related loss and uncertainty -- both at home and at work -- and offers some practical tools and techniques to help you regain your sense of self. (This conversation, hosted by TED's Helen Walters, was recorded February 2021.)
Posted Apr 2021
Debbie Millman, Esther Perel
The evolution of marriage with Esther Perel
35 minutes 24 seconds
Debbie Millman talks to therapist and author Esther Perel about marriage, polyamory and adultery. Listen and subscribe to Design Matters with Debbie Millman and more podcasts from the TED Audio Collective at audiocollective.ted.com.
Posted Feb 2022
Sal Khan, Esther Perel
Why the future is human ... plus AI
20 minutes 47 seconds
As AI reshapes work, school and love, what part of being human can't a machine take over? In a wide-ranging conversation, psychotherapist Esther Perel and TED's vision steward Sal Khan provide their unique takes on the answer. From personalized learning and AI companions to "emotional capitalism" and the rituals we create to live with uncertainty, the two explore if we're getting better at living or just getting better at optimizing. (This conversation is part of “TED Intersections,” a series featuring thought-provoking conversations between experts navigating the ideas shaping our world.)
Posted Oct 2026

More news and ideas from Esther Perel

News
Impact: A day of talks in partnership with DWEN
March 11, 2021
Everything you do boils down to impact. Whether personal or professional, you build, design and imagine in pursuit of creating lasting change for the wider world. So, how do you make it happen? At TED Salon: Impact, a virtual event presented by TED and Dell Women’s Entrepreneur Network (DWEN), four speakers and one performer explored […]
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We humans
A marriage researcher’s favorite books and podcasts for better relationships
December 19, 2019
Relationships take work, but there's good news: Researchers, writers and podcasters have already done some of the heavy lifting in exploring how we can connect with the people in our lives. Marriage and family researcher Carol Bruess shares a list of her favorite relationship books and podcasts.
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In Brief
Brené Brown plans a Netflix special, and more TED news
March 25, 2019
The TED community is busy as ever! Below, a few highlights. Brené Brown special planned for Netflix. As she announced on Instagram, vulnerability expert Dr. Brené Brown has partnered with Netflix for a one-hour special: The Call to Courage. In the show, Dr. Brown will explain how to embrace vulnerability as a source of power […]
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Esther Perel

Why you should listen

What others say

Esther Perel’s TED Talks

More news and ideas from Esther Perel

Impact: A day of talks in partnership with DWEN

A marriage researcher’s favorite books and podcasts for better relationships

Brené Brown plans a Netflix special, and more TED news