Clara Sartori Hall

Writer/Editor

MS Psychology. Former Information Developer. Author of I FEEL ___ BECAUSE I WANT ___: LOVE IN ACTION. For more than 40 years I have practiced and taught a simple communication method introduced to me by therapist and former Jesuit William E. Lynch. The method is built around two sentences: "I feel ___ because I want ___." "You feel ___ because you want ___." What makes the method unusual is that it does not simply teach communication. Before I can tell you how I feel, I have to know how I feel. Before I can tell you what I want, I have to understand what I want. The communication starts before the communication. Most books about communication explain concepts. This method provides a practical real-time mechanism that people can immediately use in conversations with partners, family members, friends, and colleagues. Today the method exists not only as a book but also as a live relational practice platform where people can experience it directly through guided conversations and relationship games. My work focuses on emotional awareness, empathy, authentic communication, relationships, and what I call Love in Action—the care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge we bring to ourselves and to one another. Websites: mindfultalks.org love.mindfultalks.org

I am passionate about emotional awareness, authentic communication, empathy, relationships, and helping people become more themselves.

Idea Worth Spreading Most communication advice tells us how to talk to one another. Very little teaches us how to understand ourselves before we speak. For more than forty years I have practiced a communication method built around a simple sentence: "I feel ___ because I want ___." The method shifts attention away from blame and toward emotional awareness, responsibility, empathy, and authentic communication. Its power is not in the sentence itself. Its power is that before I can tell you how I feel, I have to know how I feel. Before I can tell you what I want, I have to understand what I want. The conversation starts with me. When we understand ourselves more clearly, we communicate more honestly. When we communicate more honestly, relationships change. A simple sentence can transform the way we understand ourselves and each other.

and the "I feel ___ because I want ___" communication method., Areas of Expertise Emotional awareness, authentic communication, empathy, practical emotional intelligence, relationship communication

More than forty years ago I was introduced to a simple communication method built around the sentence: "I feel ___ because I want ___." At the time, I had no idea how profoundly it would influence my life. Over the decades I used the method to better understand my own feelings, navigate relationships, communicate more honestly, and help others do the same. What fascinated me was that the method was not simply about communication. Before I could tell another person how I felt, I had to understand how I felt. Before I could tell another person what I wanted, I had to understand what I wanted. The conversation started with me. After spending more than forty years with the method, I wrote a book about it and helped create an online platform where people can practice it in real conversations. My work today focuses on emotional awareness, empathy, authentic communication, and what I call Love in Action.

Most people don't know that I have spent more than forty years translating abstract ideas about relationships, communication, empathy, and love into simple real-life conversations. The stories in my book are not theories. They are moments from my own life where a simple sentence changed the conversation. I am good at taking ideas that often feel abstract—empathy, emotional awareness, responsibility, love—and making them practical, personal, and easy to understand through everyday stories and conversations.