In 1996, Thordis Elva shared a teenage romance with Tom Stranger, an exchange student from Australia. After a school dance, Tom raped Thordis, after which they parted ways for many years. In this extraordinary talk, Elva and Stranger move through a years-long chronology of shame and silence, and invite us to discuss the omnipresent global issue of sexual violence in a new, honest way. For a Q&A with the speakers, visit go.ted.com/thordisandtom.

Our story of rape and reconciliation

Healing from sexual violence requires confronting hard truths and breaking years of silence. A survivor and perpetrator, once bound by trauma and guilt, meet face to face sixteen years after a high school rape. Their story reveals that responsibility and dialogue, not blame and labels, are key to personal and societal change. By moving past societal scripts, they challenge the idea that shame belongs to survivors and urge a collective reckoning with sexual violence.

Reconciliation Begins Where Silence And Shame End

*South of Forgiveness*

Rape & Domestic Violence Services Australia

Women's Shelter Reykjavík

A Q&A with Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger

activism

collaboration

communication

sexual violence

humanity

identity

personal growth

social change

society

women

TED Stage Talk

Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger: Our story of rape and reconciliation