Sue Stanek

Christian, Consultant, Educator/Teacher, Life mentor, Parent, Photographer

My passion is to inspire & provide practical ideas for people to grow in the leadership of their professional and personal lives. (Humbly, this is the most frequent feedback I receive) I do so by providing inspiring personal leadership insights & tools through speaking, seminars, mentoring & coaching. I combine my practical work experience (20+ years) with my educational grounding (Ph.D. in Learning and Development). Perhaps most important are the lessons I share from what I’ve learned on my own career & personal path: the successes as well as the if-I-knew-then-what-I-know-now-I-would-have-handled-it-differently! experiences.

leadership/value after “retirement,” Supporting those impacted by AML (leukemia), weight challenges of professional women, forgiveness

When you’re right – think twice. My husband and I were taking a walk when I noticed a man with his small dog walking toward us, about 50 feet away. I heard him yelling and swatting his hand toward the dog. Then he actually stopped, took off his sandal and hit the dog with it! I was so mad, when we got closer, I shouted: “what do you think you are doing to that poor little dog?!” The man tried to say something but I jumped in with: “How would you like it if I yelled at you, took off my shoe and hit you?!” He said, “you don’t understand…my dog was being stung by a bee – I was trying to stop it.” I said a quick apology and picked up my pace to distance myself as fast as I could from my pretty embarrassing outburst. Similar but different story: I ordered an ice tea at Starbucks. I was eleven cents short. I said “wow, I’m 11 cents short,” expecting a “no problem” reply. Instead, the server asked if I had a credit card. I told her yes, but I really only like to use it for things that are over $10. Then I said, “How about this: can you spot me 11 cents and I will come back later today and settle up?” Nope – that was not an option. For some reason, that popped my cork. I got on my righteous voice and told her it was really poor customer service and she could keep the ice tea. What happened? Why did these situations get the best of me? This is why: I had let a runaway train take over my brain – and here is how it worked: 1. Something happened. 2. It created an immediate emotional response in me. 3. My emotion fueled my opinion. 4. My opinion became my facts, 5. My facts became my right, 6. And my right became righteous, in fact… self-righteous What if I had slowed down my thought-train earlier in its tracks? What if when I recognized I was building up steam, I took a moment to step back and to respond rather than react? What would happen if when I realized I was feeling “right,” I thought twice? What if I had slowed down my thought-train earlier in its tracks? What if when I recognized I was building up steam, I took a moment to step back and to respond rather than react? What would happen if when I realized I was feeling “right,” I thought twice? Had I done this with the dog scenario, I it would have said to the dog walker: “wow, what was going on that was so upsetting?” Had I done this at Starbucks, I would have said something like, “I don’t like using my card for small purchases. I’m surprised you won’t cover 11 cents. Lesson learned. Here’s my card.” When we feel right about a situation, we feel justified about the way we act – almost as if there is no other option. This shows up in our lives when we perceive someone has done something we think was not right/ irritating...especially to us or those we care for. What if we want a different experience and a different outcome that isn’t so…reactive, negative, and dare I say: self-righteous? If that is what we really want (which will require giving up the temporary relief of spewing our emotions) we can choose to recognize our emotions are building, and in doing so we respond rather than react. We can challenge ourselves to be observant rather than conclusive. (not easy!) And often…. Wait a moment or a day…or longer. (also not easy!) In doing so, we increase our likelihood of choosing an attitude, and words, that open conversation rather than close it. We may still conclude that our perspective is one we want to keep (I still think Starbucks should have covered the 11 cents), and yet at other times be open to changing our perspective. At minimum, our reaction doesn’t get in the way, nor become an additional, if not greater, issue than the original one. When I do so, my response is one of conscious choice of what I ultimately want, with no regrets. Next time when I think I am right, I plan to think twice.

Being healthy - from the inside out (including weight management), Dealing with difficult conflict, Emotional Intellegence, Interpersonal Communication Skills, Managing Change, Managing Stress, Networking, Personal leadership, Resilience

I have been fascinated by TED Talks since they first came out. I have been to several TEDx Events, and the TED Women virtual event. Each time I learn perspectives that ignite both energy and ideas I wouldnt have otherwise. I have sponsored TED Talk watch events in our community. I often use TED Talks to make a point with those in my life - both personally and professionally. I feel more optimistic about our world when I watch TED speakers.

Using a pellet smoker grill!